21st March 2023

Bonkbridge Week 2


My work life is all go. High-pressure meetings, huge responsibilities and late-nights filled with adrenaline. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved but my high-octane career makes it hard to meet people. I’m looking for someone with whom to spend my few quiet moments.

E.L. – Junior Assistant to the Deputy Librarian at Girton College Library

I met my husband through Bonkbridge a decade ago. He posted a message, describing himself as a tall, dark and handsome academic who specialized in Romance languages. We met for the first time at Fitzbillies. I walked in and saw a short, balding mole-man stuffing two Chelsea buns into his face. When he turned to me, cross-eyed and dribbling, I knew it was love. On the eve of our 10 year anniversary I felt I had to say to other Bonkbridgers: it’s never too late to find your ideal man.

Professor G.F.

Every time I stop you walking through the Porters’ Lodge and ask to see your CamCard I can tell you think it’s just because you’re Asian. Really, it’s because you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen – and because it’s college policy to demand identification from anyone who looks a bit foreign

Alan Keys, Head Porter at Trinity College

I am a waitress and have been serving you at formal for the last three years. I know we’re not meant to have relations with the students but there’s something about pouring your port after you’ve just eaten your dessert with no hands that really does it for me. Wanna ignore me in private?


I’m looking for some advice. My husband and I have run the Cambridge Fudge Kitchen on King’s Parade for over 20 years but last week I caught him packing fudge with Lucy the trainee. That’s something that we’ve only ever done together. Should I be worried?

Mrs. J. Smith