29th April 2017

Notice from the Dean about parties in college

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Message from the Dean, please circulate:

The Dean would like to remind all members that permission for all events or parties in college accommodation must be requested at least eight days in advance in order for them to be rejected as swiftly as possible.

As stated in the college handbook a ‘party’ is defined by the college as a gathering of more than one person on college property where substances of similar or higher strength than Ribena are being consumed and oxygen is being inhaled. Music is permitted if its loudness is deemed not to be likely to disturb the slumber of a dozing gnat.

Nevertheless, the Dean is keen to stress that the college policy is to briefly consider granting permission for social gatherings wherever possible.

Finally, the Dean has received a high number of emails from students asking if he has ever attended a ‘party’ or similar social gathering. The Dean was tickled by these questions but would like to reassure the student body that the answer, of course, is yes. He once shared a diet coke in his office with the head of catering on a Tuesday afternoon.