Vacation not a holiday
18th January 2018

ADC claims six-month closure is really “experimental play”

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The planned closure of the ADC from April to October 2018 is part of “a bold and experimental” six-month play, the theatre said today.

ADC manager Emily Milton said: “We want to assure the student body that we are not just closing down for refurbishment works. As leading innovators in the world of theatre, we are always looking to push the boundaries. Temporarily ‘closing’ the theatre gives us the opportunity to stage a literally ground-breaking show exploring the world of construction and planning permission.”

An advert on the ADC website reads: “Mixing Brechtian alienation with scaffolding, The Renovators is an exciting new piece of student writing which takes realist theatre into unchartered territory. Spectators, who will encounter a fully interactive set, will be heavily encouraged to get involved in the action themselves, especially if they are a dab hand at plastering. Doors will be locked at the start of each performance, each of which will last approximately nine hours (excluding a tea break).”

Emily Milton said: “Far from signalling a lull in student theatre, next year will see us raising the roof at the ADC – and you can be part of that. Given how exciting the project is, it’s no wonder news of our temporary closure has already been met by such an outpouring of joy across Cambridge.”

The ADC’s announcement comes just days after leaked documents seemed to reveal the theatre’s refurbishment plans. “All the seats in the auditorium should be removed to make way for a significantly enlarged ‘self-indulgence arena’. From now on, shows are to be staged behind closed doors, with canned laughter and fake applause replacing the public.”

The documents also showed plans to transform the toilets into ‘pleasure booths’ where actors and back-stage crew can admire their CamDram profiles in total privacy. £400,000 had been set aside to erect statues of former ADC thespians who have gone on to achieve great things, such as Bill Oddie, Nick Clegg, and former Tab theatre editor Milo Yiannopoulos.

Local resident Marcus Atherton said he was delighted with the news: “Thanks to rumours that the ADC will be fully shutting down, the value of my house has soared.”

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