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20th August 2017

Hundreds of students get with each other in Cindies for charity

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Hundreds of Cambridge students taking part in the RAG Blind Date event on Tuesday made it to second base in the name of a good cause.

Christ’s geographer Emily Milton, who pounced on her date on the Cindies dancefloor, said: “I’m not looking for a relationship. I may have been getting with Johnny for the past hour and a half but all the time I’ve been thinking about the great work that Anti-Slavery International does in Nepal.”

“There’s no way I’d ever want to have sex with someone if it wasn’t for a good cause”, she added.

Spread-eagled on the pavement outside Ta Bouche, covered in his own vomit, St John’s English student Marcus Atherton said, “Hopefully this event will help Médecins Sans Frontières rebuild the hospital that was sadly destroyed in Idlib, Syria, last week. This evening I have dedicated every one of my twelve Jägerbombs to the charity as I am extremely passionate about their incredible humanitarian efforts in that region.”

RAG’s charity partners and beneficiaries were delighted with the event.

Michel Poiccard, a Médecins Sans Frontières doctor working in Botswana, said: “It makes this tiring and underpaid job worthwhile knowing that somewhere in Cambridge, a sweet but socially awkward Mathmo is having drinks with a girl who normally wouldn’t even talk to him. As we say at MSF, you don’t have to be in hospital to be a charity case.”

Timmy, an 8-year-old patient in Addenbrooke’s Hospital, said: “I’m so happy to have played a part in such a wonderful and necessary event. Thanks to my illness, sad, lonely Cambridge students have been given a chance to know what human affection is so it’s nice to know I am really doing my bit for charity.”