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28th March 2024

New Nick Griffin biopic, “The Racial Theory of Everything”, to be filmed in Cambridge

BNP leader Nick Griffin holds a press conference in the Ace of Diamonds pub, Manchester
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A new film will explore the carefree, idyllic years the former British National Party leader Nick Griffin spent as an undergraduate at Downing College in the late 1970s.

Billed as ‘a heart-warming tale of romance, rowing and right-wing views’, ‘The Racial Theory of Everything’ is sure to pull at the audience’s heartstrings.

The opening scenes of the film chart Griffin’s romantic beginnings with his future wife Jackie when they meet each other at a party hosted by the Cambridge Book Burning Society. As Wagner plays stirringly in the background, the bumbling Griffin catches sight of Jackie through the rising flames, which are fuelled by copies of Martin Luther King’s speeches and the works of Freud and Kafka.

It is love at first sight and the doting Jackie is by his side as he writes his acclaimed physics dissertation on how it was in fact a white hole rather than a black hole that was present at the beginning of the universe.

The plot reaches new heights of emotional intensity as we begin to learn of Griffin’s descent into illness. Strapped for cash in his second year, having spent his entire student loan on copies of the Daily Mail and Nazi memorabilia, Griffin is forced to resort to eating a kebab from Gardies one night in a desperate bid to save money. This heart-wrenching scene exudes emotion, as the young fascist tucks into a non-British delicacy.

The effects of the kebab are devastating and Griffin, whose body is used to only lager and chips, is helpless. Rendered unable to walk, move or speak due to the powerful stomach upset induced by the kebab, the film deftly explores Nick and Jackie’s efforts to restore a semblance of normality to their lives.

Fame and power eventually get the better of him and having graduated, his political career puts an intense strain on their relationship. Separated for many years, the film nevertheless ends with a sentimental and deeply moving image. Griffin meets Jackie again, ten years later at a BNP rally outside a local mosque. They share a passionate kiss, while around them scores of skinheads celebrate by mugging pensioners and screaming racist slurs at passers-by.