Vacation not a holiday
14th December 2017

Pitt Club admits women members in bid to ‘make hating the poor more accessible’

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Just weeks after Saudi Arabia began allowing women to drive, the Pitt Club has confirmed plans to admit female members in a bid to make their unique selling point, hating the poor, more accessible.

Horatio Dunlop, President of the Pitt Club, welcomed the move. “I see no reason why being a woman should stop you from being bigoted, arrogant, entitled and snobbish. Admitting women is not a step-back for our club, but merely a better way of ensuring that a broader diversity of people are able to participate in the noble sport of ripping into the working-class.”

Plans have also been announced by the Club for the creation of an Access Officer to make sure there would be no limitations to access for aspiring members, except class, wealth, region, education and personal connections.

Cecil Jones, a third-year student at Gonville and Caius College who has been appointed to the role, was delighted. “As part of our new access initiative, the society plans to run outreach days at Eton, Harrow, Winchester, and now, additionally, St. Paul’s Girls’ School. These new steps we’re taking will be vital to making sure our bigotry is available to the widest number of people from the narrowest social circles.”

Older members of the society cited concern about the move to admit women, worried it undermined the Pitt Club’s core values. Tristan Twistleton-Fforbes, an alumnus of St. John’s College, sent an open letter calling on the Club to reconsider.

“I know the Pitt Club has always focused on excluding and marginalising the poorest in our society, but I worry that we narrow our scope if we demonise only those without money and not also those without male genitalia. I found that we always ran a successful side-line in misogyny and it seems churlish to throw all that away.”

When approached for comment, Pizza Express, which owns the ground floor of the Pitt Clubhouse, said: “Christmas is coming! Book a table for your group now to avoid disappointment.”

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