Vacation not a holiday
18th January 2018

RAG Blind Date – as it happened


We kept up with Cambridge students’ attempts to find love with complete strangers in the charity event of the year. Relive some of our highlights of the night.

18:35 – Before the first dates of the night begin, St. John’s College announces special ‘cock signet rings’ will be available for all its students to “demonstrate their social status even whilst completely naked.”

18:55 – Rumours spread that the Christian Union has been plunged into turmoil over a night of sinning for a good cause: “These fornicators are raising thousands for charity. Should we be praising or condemning? I’m so conflicted! Does anyone know what Jesus would do?”

21:32 – We’ve managed to overhear some of ex-Tab writer Sachin Parathalingam’s attempts to woo his date:

“Hi, I’m Sachin! Did you know the Cambridge Judge Business School is undergoing a 3,100 square metre extension? By next year it will increase the size of the school by more than a third, adding two lecture theatres and four seminar rooms.”

21:45 – One of the more successful dates is taking place at the Maypole, between John’s student Timothy Bainbridge and a living swan.

“Normally swan dates are reserved exclusively for the Queen but I bribed £500 so RAG made an exception. It’s going well so far I think – she’s constantly pecking my leg which must be a good sign.”

22:03 – Amatey Doku has been spotted drinking on his own in The Eagle. Apparently he contacted his blind date several times to arrange a meet-up but his emails were all ignored.

22:47 – As dates draw to a close, postgrad students taking part in ‘RAG leave me alone’ have also raised more than £4000 by donating to charity to continue having as little human contact as possible.

23:41 We caught up with a drunk and disappointed Marcus Atherton outside of Cindies: “First Pink Week Ball was shut down early, now I get kicked out of Cindies before I’ve even had a chance to get off with my date. I don’t care if it’s for charity, I’d better be getting my money back.”

Did you meet the love of your life on RAG Blind Date? Was it a WILD night of passion? Don’t tell us because we don’t care.

Join us again next year!

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