Vacation not a holiday
14th December 2017

The Porter’s Log guide to getting through Week 5


At The Porter’s Log we know Week 5 can be a teensy-weensy bit stressful so we have put together this cutesy little listicle of comfort foods to help you get through it.

1. The ultimate guilt-free microwave mug cake: All you need is some flour and salt – mix these ingredients up in a dainty little mug and blitz in microwave for 3 hours! Serve with low self-esteem for a cracking flavour of shame to warm the cockles of your heart.

2. Baked crisp casserole: A scrumptious recipe for all you foodies out there. Get 10 bags of walkers, place in a pan, cover in budget margarine and give it a little whizz in the oven on 700 degrees. Eat up piggies.

3. The Week 5 cocktail ‘F**k My Life’: Mix half a bottle of vodka with your own tears. Pop a little cocktail umbrella in the glass if you’re feeling groovy and exotic!

These recipes are all super-fab for self-care but where is the best place to enjoy them?

1. On the toilet: you can’t go wrong with a tasty mug cake while you sit, staring into space with your pants off, wondering where it all went so horribly wrong.

2. In your supervisor’s office: nothing quite conveys ‘Help me, please help me’ to your supervisor like crying into a large dish of crisps while writhing on the floor of their 17th century study. Super-duper!

3. At home: a great way to surprise your parents who vicariously live through their Cambridge child-prodigy!

Keep this list close by if you want to make the most out of the rest of Week 5.

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