29th April 2017

Trinity men demand male-only breakfast to celebrate over 400 years of male admission

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A group of male students at Trinity, outraged by plans to hold a breakfast marking 40 years of women at the college, has called for a special male-only breakfast to be held to celebrate men’s admission to the college in 1546.

Third-year student Marcus Atherton, a prominent member of the group, said: “We believe that the 469th year since men allowed themselves into Trinity deserves as much recognition as the women’s 40 year anniversary. The 469th year of anything would be a natural time to hold an anniversary celebration.”

The group is outraged at the notion of a breakfast that prioritises women, especially as it initially seemed that men would not be invited to attend.

Cecil Jones, the head of the men’s rugby team, the men’s football team and president of Trinity’s male-only drinking society said: “I fundamentally disagree with the exclusion of people based on nothing but gender”.

He continued: “I have never had breakfast in the Great Hall. The food is horrible, it’s too early and too expensive but that is not the point. It’s the principle that counts and I am outraged that I am being systematically excluded from a meal I wouldn’t have had.”

On hearing that men are, in fact, welcome to attend the women’s celebratory breakfast Jones said: “That doesn’t change anything. The guys’ breakfast has been a long time coming anyway. We’ve been here for ten times as long as the women but you don’t see us complaining that we haven’t had ten times as many celebratory breakfasts. We’re even considering eating ten breakfasts one after another just to catch up. It’s only fair.”

Michael Pritchard, another group member, said: “I was told by the women’s officer to check my privilege. I did, and as a white, upper-class man I should be entitled to everything. This is not just unfair, it’s inconsistent.”
Details of the planned men’s breakfast are scarce but the food is likely to consist primarily of Yorkie bars and tiny sausages which are the group’s favourite food.