After years of complaints from students about the stress caused by the lack of a mid-term reading week, the University has announced proposals to replace ‘Week Five’ with ‘Week Four+’.
“It’s about offering a welcome distraction,” said Vice-Chancellor Stephen Toope. “We completely understand the workload can become too much and Week Four+ offers the solution to that. It’s an entirely new way of spending a week at Cambridge.”
The proposed changes include setting students twelve hours of reading each day, to be done in exam conditions under the watchful eye of university invigilators, as a distraction from heavy workloads and looming deadlines.
The University also plans to run a series of welfare-related events during the week, including a supervised ‘nap time’ for students suffering from insomnia, ‘rabid puppy therapy’ afternoons and a balloon-popping session to help students relax and unwind.
Student responses to the proposals, however, have so far been mixed. CUSU Education Officer Marcus Atherton criticised the suggestions as merely adding to the stress of a student’s life unnecessarily.
“I understand the motivation for playing whale music in lectures to calm us down, but it actually makes it impossible to hear what’s being said – and the closure of all catering facilities to cut down on unhealthy eating has led to some passing out from exhaustion.”
The University has hit back, saying it has responded directly to students’ concerns.
“Students said they wanted a reading week – so we’re going to set them extra reading – what more do these people want? We’re even extending library opening hours so that students don’t have to worry about travelling back to their rooms.
“The reaction we got from the four students we spoke to, who were admittedly being held at gunpoint, is clear: Week Four+ is exactly what Cambridge students want and need.
“Students are going to love it – just as soon as they have finished their work.”