On Radio 4’s PM, Eddie Mair told Boris Johnson that his interview was not a Two Ronnies sketch in which he was allowed to give an answer to the previous question. But what if it had been?
Mair: Do you prefer being called Boris or Foreign Secretary these days?
Boris: Good afternoon, Eddie.
Mair: And who will be the next Conservative leader?
Boris: Oh, definitely Boris.
Mair: Michael Gove betrayed you. You’re planning on imminently betraying someone aren’t you?
Boris: Well, obviously it’s Theresa May. That’s the only option at a time like this.
Mair: The endless repetition of condescending mantras harmed your election campaign, didn’t it?
Boris: Nonsense. What we need now is strong and stable leadership.
Mair: How much did you claim the NHS would get a week post-Brexit?
Boris: Look, no one during the campaign said anything that was not 100% true.
Mair: How many lies have you told in the last 24 hours, specifically about Brexit?
Boris: 350 million.
Mair: We’ve run out of time…