Tutors have responded to increasing pressure to show compassion within the intermission process by sending students home using a twenty tonne medieval trebuchet.
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In her first press conference as not-the-president-elect, Hillary Clinton publicly condemned the Cambridge liberal intelligentsia for failing to win her the US Presidential election.
Recruiters from Hell, the market leader in eternal damnation, have arrived in Cambridge to sign up ambitious students for their corporate summer internships and graduate schemes.
A scandal has erupted this week as Cambridge Vice-Chancellor Leszek Borysiewicz was found in bed with photographs of Oxford colleges.
Following the controversial decision to reroute the uni4 bus away from Homerton, Cambridge University officials have announced an exclusive partnership with Deliveroo.