theporterslog@gmail.com
1st December 2022

New sports newspaper The Blue Bird resorts to covering e-scooter races

Share

With sports on hold after the government introduced tighter regulations to halt the spread of the coronavirus, new sports newspaper The Blue Bird is struggling to fill the pages of its hastily designed website.

The fledgling competitor to Varsity’s sport section has resorted to covering e-scooter races in an attempt to engage readers who, even if there had been a 1st XV rugby match this weekend, wouldn’t really have cared. 

The introduction of e-scooters to Cambridge has not been without controversy and The Blue Bird has gone above and beyond in its coverage of this topic, dispatching a roving reporter to King’s Parade to ensure no battery-powered race goes unreported. Indeed, the journalist – or at least that’s what he’ll put on his CV – was lucky enough to witness one of Voi’s machines collide with a small child. He scootered to the scene to interview the child, only to be told to sod off by harried paramedics.

The Blue Bird has also begun providing hourly updates on the size of the Pret queue, and recently advertised for a dedicated reporter to cover the King’s Street Run.

Cambridge University Tiddlywinks Club reported ‘surprise’ at the extent of the newspaper’s interest in its Zoom tournaments: “The reporter asked to read our constitution. I’ve never come across someone so keen on the game. It’s nice to see our sport finally get the attention it deserves.”