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25th September 2022

Second-year Engineers Celebrate ‘Three-Eighths of the Way’ Hall

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Second-year engineers across the university have this month been celebrating Three-Eighths of the Way Hall.

The event is not to be confused with the more typical Halfway Halls also slated for mid-Lent. Instead of reminding students that they are halfway through their journey towards selling out to a consultancy firm, Three-Eighths of the Way Hall is designed to assure engineers that there is plenty of suffering still to enjoy in their degree. The engineers are served three courses before heading to a nightclub, or as they call it, Pi and Mash.

Halfway Hall has always been seen as an awkward time for those masochistic enough to choose a four-year degree, particularly languages students. “It’s not all that bad,” says second-year MMLer, Emma Mellor. “I’m actually looking forward to breaking up with my long-term girlfriend during my year abroad and returning for my fourth year only to find all my friends have graduated. Perhaps I’ll be able to brag about wine-tasting in the Loire to the college cat.”

Fortunately, engineers are reported to be more optimistic about plans for their final year. “You can’t get upset about your friends graduating if you never had any in the first place,” says Marcus Atherton.

Meanwhile, Medicine students are reportedly gearing up to launch their own rival event, provisionally named ‘One-Millionth of the Way there’ Hall.