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9th December 2022

Cindies host audiobook night to allow students to work whilst clubbing

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To help stressed-out students get through Week 5, Cindies will host an audiobook club night aimed at facilitating students’ study on a night out.

‘After years of planning we’ve finally developed the technology to truly offer students guilt-free clubbing.’ Marcus Atherton, Cindies’ PR manager, explained. ‘Now students are able to listen to classic academic literature while getting on it. Genius.

‘We knew it would be a risk to cut the likes of Mr. Brightside from our roster, but ending the night with Das Kapital has proved to be a hit with the whole student body.’

Hosted by resident UL librarians, DJs play 30 seconds extracts to students. And despite the short-run time students are yet to complain, with experts citing how students rarely spend much more time reading article abstracts.

In switching from 2009’s chart-toppers to books, students are able to groove to the dulcet tones of Stephen Fry, get rowdy to Smith’s ‘Wealth of Nations’ and get off to E. L. James.

The club has also introduced subject specific reading. While English students are able to listen to Will. I. Am. Wordsworth, Compscis can listen to binary code in an adjoining room.

Cameron Bridgeworth, a HSPS student, praised the move. ‘I had a bit of reading left to do before my supervision on Thursday, normally I would have stayed in but last night I ticked off Orwell’s classic ‘1984 beats per minute’ in the club.

‘Listening to a book in Cindies really added something to it. I was struggling to engage with Dante’s Inferno but hearing it in what clearly resembled Dante’s 7th Circle of Hell really grounded my thinking.’

The move has also been praised by Bouncers who revealed that only one person had to be kicked out last Wednesday: a Former Tit-Hall fellow for requesting to hear Lolita.

Lolas and Fez has since pledged to introduce similar nights, but have restricted their choice of books. Whilst Fez will only play novels by Franz Kafka, Lolas have chosen to exclusively play CGP Revision Books accommodating for ‘the next generation of fake-IDs.’