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19th August 2017

CUSU admits it lost £300,000 to email scam from fake Nigerian prince

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CUSU finances are in turmoil after the committee allegedly fell for a scam email from an untraceable address in Nigeria.

The email, which was leaked earlier today, read:

‘Hello the CUSU,

My name is Prince John Harrypotter and I need your help for relocation to UK. I can provide you many millions of dollar in exchange for your help. I cannot access my money here, please send me 30,0,000£$ and when I have arrived I will transfer huge riches to the CUSU.

Your dear friend,

Prince John Harrypotter’

Marcus Atherton, a CUSU intern who first saw the email, said: “Now that I think about it, all the signs were there. The email’s friendly tone and the fact that its subject wasn’t ‘Disaffiliation Request’ or ‘Stop emailing me’ should have been flagged as out of the ordinary right away.”

News of the scam comes as CUSU has announced large cuts to combat projected losses of up to £400,000 by the end of 2018.

In an official statement, General Manager Mark McCormack said: “I just don’t understand where it went wrong. I’m the best at making trade deals. I won Model United Nations five times in a row, and I’ve read the Art of the Deal way more times than that. About four times, I think.”

CUSU has reportedly attempted to recoup their losses news of the scam could be made public. President Amatey Doku was spotted on Sunday hiding in a bin near a vending machine and repeatedly pouncing on uncollected change. Although successful in recovering £3.80, the fundraising was cut short after a few hours, when he was confronted by the ‘Bin Busker’ who accused Doku of encroaching on his territory.

In a last-ditch attempt to raise money, committee members were urged in an email to “consider selling a kidney, foot or otherwise expendable body part”. The scheme was ultimately unsuccessful after it emerged that the organ-buyer was in fact the same ‘Prince John Harrypotter’ who had scammed CUSU in the first place.

When asked if there were plans for a change of CUSU’s financial strategy under her presidency, president-elect Daisy Eyre declined to comment. She was later seen wearing a fake moustache on King’s Parade and handing out fliers for £10,000 ‘Luxury Punt Tours’.