theporterslog@gmail.com
16th May 2022

News












PLog Best Thumbs is back!

In a desperate attempt to present itself as something other than a wannabe tabloid rag dependent on clickbaity, quasi-pornographic drivel to attract readers, the Tab has launched a new ‘Elf on the Shelf’ competition to…





Marcus reviews Maccies

Inspired by the Cambridge Globalist’s recent foray into restaurant criticism, The Porter’s Log asked Trinity student Marcus Atherton for his reflections on the city’s gastronomic scene.








The PLog Halloween Special October 2021

To view our SPOOKY Halloween Special Zine filled with ‘hilarious’ Footlights ghost stories, terrible costume ideas, and frightening grammatical inaccuracies, click here. Alternatively, do something useful with your time. Whatever. We don’t care.













PLog Lawyers – NO WIN, SOME FEES!

Following Senior Deputy-Pro-Vice-Co-Assistant-Chancellor (Education & Spiritual Astrology) Graham Virgo’s email regarding complaint procedures, we are excited to bring you a very important message from our partners at PLog Lawyers:








Apology – The Porter’s Log

The Porter’s Log staff and writers would like to issue an apology in relation to the recent article concerning the Cambridge Union.










Gates’ RAG Blind Date

Following the announcement of his divorce from Melinda, his wife of 27 years, Bill Gates wastes no time getting back on the market by signing up for a RAG Blind Date:




Drinking socs are back and their initiations are wilder than ever

After a year of Zoom social after Zoom social, Cambridge’s distinctive drinking society population was on the brink of extinction. Sodomy is harder from home, and shouting “up the boys!” at a parental figure doesn’t…




The PM’s DMs

After the revelation that Boris Johnson’s personal phone number has been publicly available online for the past 15 years, a source at Number 10 has leaked his inbox to The Porter’s Log:









Cindies back from the dead in ‘Easter miracle’

After the revelation of the second coming of Fez as MASH, there has been much celebration in the city of Cambridge today – yet more jubilation is required. Cindies, saviour of nights out and bringer…


‘Boatcoin’ cryptocurrency launched to help fund 2021 Boat Race

Gemini, a cryptocurrency platform that is the ‘principal partner’ of this year’s Boat Race, has today announced the release of ‘Boatcoin’, a currency directly tied to the intensity at which rowers boast about their latest…






















































































MML Faculty announces ‘imaginary’ Year Abroad

As COVID-19 continues to cause significant disruption to second year linguists’ plans, the Faculty of Modern and Medieval Languages has today announced that its students are entitled to an ‘imaginary year abroad’.
























Leavers’ Hoodies Dazzle at Fashion Show

Cambridge University’s Annual Charity Fashion Show has proved an immense success once again after it celebrated one of the most daring fashion trends to ever hit the city: the leavers’ hoodie.




























The Porter’s Log template cover letter

Concerned about the future? Struggling to attract employers’ notice? Or perhaps just bricking it at the prospect of having to function outside the Cambridge Bubble?











Striking lecturers praise alcohol 

Lectures participating in UCU strike action have praised alcohol, club nights, and drinking societies for encouraging students to miss lectures. 






















iDiscover replaces Google as top search engine

University students have reacted with shock after new figures revealed iDiscover displaced Google as the most visited search engine in 2018, with 1.3bn monthly users compared to Google’s 1.1bn.

















RAG Blind Date 2019 – as it happened

As Valentine’s day approaches and hordes of sexually repressed Cantabs embrace the seasonal struggle to find a partner; in the name of charity, alcohol and sin, Marcus Atherton brings you straight to the action.


























Newnham bar workers to be paid in ‘magic beans’

Following revelations that its student bar workers are paid just £2.50 of Sainsbury’s vouchers per hour, Newnham College has announced an eye-catching overhaul which will see volunteers offered the chance to earn ‘magic beans’.




CICCU launches ‘Garden of Eden’ May Ball

In response to controversy caused by Hughes Hall’s ‘Forest of Sin’ May Ball launch, the Cambridge Inter-Collegiate Christian Union (CICCU) has announced that they will be holding their own May Ball.










































VOTE NOW: Best Thumbs 2016

You’ve sent in your submissions and we’ve chosen the sexiest digits to display, now it’s time to settle once and for all who has the best thumb of 2016.