Exclusive: interview with the mysterious judge behind The Tab’s Best Bums
It’s Monday morning, and the Tab’s Best Bums 2020 has just announced its winner.
Read MoreMichaelmas 2020
Official: university advice on reducing your rent bill
Who will get the Pfizer vaccine first?
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Loss of Darwin’s notebooks is “natural selection,” says Christian Union heist member
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that the Christian Union is behind the disappearance of Darwin’s seminal notebooks.
Headline: Durham raves
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Students already enjoying ‘imaginary year abroad’ now entitled to ‘imaginary freedom of movement’
Cambridge modern languages students currently on an imaginary year abroad will now receive the additional privilege of ‘imaginary freedom of movement’ in the EU after 1st January, the UK government has today announced.
Headline: Russia vaccine
Headline: Oxford vaccine
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Cambridge SU calls to ‘Defund the Porter Force’ after Toope allocates £16bn to defence
The Cambridge SU has announced it is launching a campaign to ‘Defund the Porters’, after the university administration announced a windfall for the college-based Porter Force.
Leaked: King’s Covid-19 order of service
Headline: Jesus investigates
An ode to Miss Cindi
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Just what lockdown needs: a print copy of TCS
In a year full of surprises, none was less eagerly anticipated than the return of the print edition of The Cambridge Student, the newspaper equivalent of the human appendix.
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Exclusive: Rashford has “heart set” on transfer to Fitz 1st XI after college delivers 200 free meals
“Old Trafford just doesn’t have the history of Oxford Road. You know Girton 2nds beat ARU 4th XI here to avoid relegation in 2003? Incredible.”
Headline: five week blues
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New sports newspaper The Blue Bird resorts to covering e-scooter races
With sports on hold after the government introduced tighter regulations to halt the spread of the coronavirus, new sports newspaper The Blue Bird is struggling to fill the pages of its hastily designed website.
Place your bets: what will Trump do next?
Headline: CUSU called in
Headline: Trump safety net
Headline: Oxford coronavirus latest
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The Porter’s Log guide to a socially-distanced RAG blind date
As if 2020 couldn’t get any worse, RAG Blind Date is back early for an extra instalment this Michaelmas, offering lonely Cambridge students a chance to find love before coughing season.
Headline: Trinity feminism
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Christian Union to extend text-a-toastie to schoolchildren this half term
The government’s recent decision not to extend free school meals to starving children during the half term has provoked anger and disappointment among many.
Headline: coronavirus pooled
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Cambridge dismisses claims of medical privilege as students offered gold-plated nasal swabs
The University of Cambridge has denied that its student population is excessively privileged after an exposé revealed students had been offered gold-plated nasal swabs.
Headline: sticky note shortages
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As self-isolation begins for many, the University announces its divestment from student welfare
As the university community struggles to get to grips with life under COVID-19, many students are being told to self-isolate after becoming exposed to carriers of the virus.
Headline: Pret queue
Headline: asymptomatic carriers
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“At least it’s not corona,” shivers hypothermic, frostbitten student in library
Coronavirus measures which include keeping University libraries well-ventilated, while slowing the spread of the pandemic have left students facing new challenges, particularly the cold.
Headline: Coronavirus devastated
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Exclusive: an interview with Overnight Guest, the seductive super-spreader sensation
A spectre is haunting Cambridge, and it’s the spectre of Overnight Guest. Who is he?
Headline: Camfess diatribe changes minds
Headline: Rishi Sunak pleads with ADC
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‘Secret tunnel’ under Emmanuel College used by illicit overnight guests
Reports have reached the Porter’s Log of a tunnel dug underneath Emmanuel College, as students attempt to smuggle in overnight guests under the nose of the ever-watchful porters.
Headline: ADC Theatre reclassified
Headline: finals results set to be downgraded
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‘Girlfriend from home’ placed on endangered species list
Amid college preparations for students’ return in late September, Cambridge’s Department of Geography has quietly moved the ‘girlfriend from home’ to its endangered species list.